Friday, January 15, 2010

The Belief

One interest of mine is reading about other religions and what their beliefs are. Before I got my job at the arsenic circle, I was doing some nannying and house work for a woman that lives about 10 minutes away. Over time, I learned that she was 7th day adventist. This was the first person that I had ever encountered who had religious beliefs that are not LDS, and lived by them. I once had a friend who was Catholic, but it was only because her father made her, and she certainly didnt live a very religious life.
But this woman had weekly bible study with her friend, had pictures of Christ all around her house, attended her religious service every Saturday, taught her son the stories of the bible, and so on. It was actually the pictures of Christ that first made me think that she might not be LDS (being in Rexburg, there's a 90% chance that any person you meet is LDS). The pictures that she had portayed him with much darker brown hair, and brown eyes, rather than the auburn hair and blue eyes that I have always seen.
Anyway, upon learning her difference in religious beliefs, I went online and read about the 7th day adventists. This religion, along with my most recent learning experience of other faiths (Anabaptists) both believe this in relation to marriage:
Marriage was ordained by God in the creation and is confirmed in the New Testament by Jesus Christ. Marriage is a relationship between one man and one woman, dissoluble only by death.
I find it so strange that someone displaying all of their beliefs can say confidently, as if it is in any way a happy thing, that marriage will end at death. Who would WANT to believe that? (Okay, I guess a large majority of unhappily married people might).
While visiting in Utah over Christmas time, I talked with my sister in law a lot about marriage and how we (me and her) view it.
I honestly dont understand how people go into something so big, so important, without expecting more. So many people "accept" that marriage is some horrible thing, that after only a few years, you'll only annoy each other, and sex will get crappy, and you'll have to go out with girlfriends in order to get a break from your lazy, fat, drunk husband. You'll never see eye to eye on things, because "I'm a woman" and "he's a man". "white lies" are acceptable, because being completely honest with each other would only result in fighting, and you need to hold on to certain things in order to create some sort of security blanket, so some things you never share with each other.

Yes, I am LDS. But I know PLENTY of people of my same faith that think that many of those previous statements about marriage are true. These next things are what I think, me personally. (well, and apparently my sister in law.)
I admit, before I got married, there were things about myself that I wondered how I would ever be able to tell a man about, and have him still love and accept me. But once I started my real relationship with my now-husband, I couldnt believe that I had ever been afraid of that? Its not like I was marrying a stranger. I would have never settled for a marriage, an entire life together, (and, as I believe, eternity together) with someone that I couldnt share every thought with, spend (and WANT to spend) virtually all of my time with, laugh over anything with, drive across states with, hold hands no matter what with. Why would anyone go into something so beautiful, so sacred, and not want it to be amazing every step of the way?
DUH yes, I fight with my husband. We are COMPLETE opposites and have completely different interests and ideas on nearly everything. But we can talk for hours about one tiny little train of thought. We can lie next to each other silently, doing our own thing, but enjoying it even more just knowing that we're by eachother. We miss each other all day while I'm at work and he's at school, and just like we talked about when we were dating, just knowing that we can come home and be next to each other all night can get us through anything that is thrown at us during the day. No, I did not choose to write this to say how my marriage is amazing and everyone elses sucks. The whole point of this is that, my marriage is great because we WANT it to be great. we EXPECT more out of each other, and out of our relationship, and out of our time together. We discuss things, what we do and dont want, about EVERY aspect of our lives. Tones we will never talk to each other in, the type of couch that will never furnish our living room, ways we would never punish our children, things we would never spend money on. We make sure that as we grow, that we grow together toward a common goal. Yes, ours happens to be in relation to our personal beliefs, but even people not of my faith could be just as happy as we are.
Also, even though happy marriages CAN and DO exist out of LDS households, I am so incredibly happy to know that all of this work that I am putting into my marriage wont be thrown away when one of us dies. What we are working towards is so much bigger than I could ever imagine. The harder we work, the happier we will be in the end. And we will be able to be happy with EACHOTHER. Forever. Yes, marriage is ordained of God. So why would we live for eternity alone??


  1. i completely agree with you on so many levels. i don't understand how marriage till death parts us is what we should want and accept. and that marriage is the beginning of our life going downhill- then why would we do it? it is the best thing ever, if you MAKE it that way! love what you had to say :) you are wise beyond your years, my friend.

  2. I concur. Thoroughly. On and on and on. I appreciate this and value it deeply.
    Thank you thank you thank you.
    I can't wait until I can have what you have.