Saturday, May 29, 2010

Don't cheapen yourself.

I put on my facebook status this past week,
that when I look at other people's pictures I quite frequently come to the conclusion that:
I am so happy to be LDS and married.

My mom and I had a talk while Evan and I were in Utah about how you can go so long without certain spiritual knowledge but then once you get it, you cant believe you didnt know before, and when someone else doesnt understand, you just wanna be like "DUH!"
I get this feeling a lot when I look at people's pictures (yes, on facebook.)
I look at their lifestyles, and I just CANT understand how people could argue the fact that living the gospel leads to a happy life. I truly do not feel like I am missing out because I dont get drunk and have hang overs. I do not feel that my teenage years weren't fully lived because I wasn't sexually active. I do not feel that I am less sexy because I wear clothing that doesnt show my shoulders, thighs, or half of my breasts. You can tell me all freaking day that the Church has too many "rules", and that drinking or getting high is fun, and that there is "no problem" with having a beer/glass of wine/daiquiri every once in a while, or that having sex isnt bad if you are "in love". But guess what? These so called "rules" have incredible consequences. good ones, in fact. more than I can say for engaging in these things:
so, you drink. possible consequences (however small or large, they are still possible) puking, having a hang over, getting taken advantage of, making a complete fool of yourself because you are doing things that you wouldn't usually do since you have no inhibitions (oh, lucky you.)
you smoke cigarettes. (is there a dumber thing to do???) you lose the ability to breath very well...and stink. awesome. but good thing you have that nicotine to help you when you're stressed, huh? I mean how dumb is it to build up that strength yourself, and use your brain to help you calm down...Much better to depend on something addicting. Genius.
you have sex. the obvious, STD's, getting pregnant. Okay, honestly, I remember my step mom telling me that after she got married, as much as she enjoyed sex, she didn't understand why people would give up so much for it. I couldn't agree more!
I think (correction, KNOW) that this is the thing that gets me more worked up than any other sin. Ever.
How can girls think so little of themselves? Now, I know many, many wonderful women who have made the [mistake] of losing their virginity before marriage to someone that they felt strongly for. I believe that just because this happens does not mean that you are a bad person. EVERYONE makes mistakes, and sadly this one is not uncommon.
The girls I am talking about are the ones who glory in dressing skanky, and being promiscuous, and look down upon people who are not this way.
This is my logic: You think so little about your mind, and knowledge, and personality, that you feel that the best way to get a guy to notice you is to show off half your body? Really? You have so little to offer that you cant attract a guy any other way??
Great, it makes you feel sexy. Well guess what, it also makes you look gross. How can you expect to have a good relationship if the initial attraction a guy has to you is the depth of your cleavage?? Really?
Oh, there has to be "sexual chemistry". Oh my gosh, when people bring up that thing that "you need to have sex before you get married to make sure that you guys work well together in bed"
SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!? cos we're not all freaking HUMANS that have body parts that were MADE to work together sexually?!?!?! How about this: if you hadn't had sex with other people in the first place, you wouldnt have anything to compare your spouse to! you could discover with THEM what you like, and not have expectations that you have to "find out".
Do you know how awesome Relief Society is?? Yeah, I know it can be cheesy, cos someone always cries, and we gab a lot, and talk about sewing machines.
But looking past that, looking at the true purpose of it, it is incredible.
We are WOMEN! When I started truly understanding what that meant, do you even know how empowered I felt? I am a WOMAN. I am beautiful. I have the ability to be a MOTHER. I can create and give a child life. I can nurture, love, give, serve. I can have graciousness, dignity, quiet strength, and be TRULY attractive by living righteously. not just me. EVERY SINGLE WOMAN can become all that she is truly meant to be. To me, I cannot understand how someone could look at any of those women that would appear on the cover of a gossip magazine, put her next to a truly righteous woman of God, and think that there is even a comparison. The beauty that magnifies from a woman who understand her role in this life is beyond words. How could I ever consider wanting to look a certain way solely for the world's acceptance, when I know and understand the things that I can do to be a beautiful woman in the Lord's eyes?
I love being a woman. I love the sacred role that I play both in this world and in eternity.

Some words of James E Faust that have empowered and strengthened me in the past:
"When strong young priesthood holders see a girl immodestly dressed, most will not want to date her because her standards are not consistent with their eternal perspective. Immodesty in women cheapens their image. It causes embarrassment and loss of respect"
[a man] must never “attempt to take advantage of [you. If] … he shows [any] inclination to use you as a convenience or as a means of gratification, then you may [be sure] he is not prompted by love.” It is very natural for young men and women to be attracted to each other, but they should be attracted in God-given ways rather than questionable ways, such as immodest dress. God-given attractions include your innate beauty, charm, decency, and goodness.

Friday, May 14, 2010

'twill be magical.

so its been a while..
I would like to apologize in advance that [most] of my blogs are random rants about my feelings on somewhat spiritual matters, but its like my mind will go on thinking tangents until I feel so strongly about something that I just need to write it down! so, I hope none of you readers mind...

The other day, I was talking to my co-worker about having children, (NO Evan and I are not planning) and one of those thinking tangents occured.

So you know when celebrities have babies? I mean I swear, every time someone does there is a magazine cover of them, with their new infant, and the title is "we've never been happier..." "the best thing that's ever happened to us..." "our little angel..." etc. and its about how they are just SOOO happy that they are parents, and having this child is the BEST thing that's ever happened to them. (Please tell me you know what I'm talking about???)
ANYWAY, I do not doubt that these people do indeed truly feel these things when they have their child. I do not doubt that all of the people that I know from high school who have had unplanned children felt some of that when THEY had children. I mean, how could they not? They are holding something that was just in the presence of God. I don't care how un-spiritual or un-believing they are, they feel the magic!
The point is, I can't stand the attention they get, and how they play it off like they care sooo much when in a few years, these people WON'T be caring, and their pre-schooler will be as a pebble in their shoe and they won't give much thought (if any) to the things they are saying, teaching, showing, their children.

{I KNOW THAT BEING LDS DOES NOT MAKE YOU A PERFECT OR EVEN GOOD PARENT, NOR DOES NOT BEING LDS MAKE YOU A BAD ONE. I AM USING THIS GENERALIZATION OF MY EX-HIGH SCHOOL PEERS AND CELEBRITIES BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO HAPPEN MUCH, MUCH MORE OUT OF THESE GROUPS OF PEOPLE. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT AS YOU READ ON!}

What I am saying is, that "honeymoon" stage, if you will, of having a baby, ends. They are not infants forever. Soon, (quite soon, so I've heard,) they learn to crawl, then walk, talk, cry on command, whine, throw tantrums, talk back, lie, make their own decisions, many of which will be against what you have taught them, etc etc. I hate when people ham it up like they are so excited to have children, then as soon as the "honeymoon" stage is over, they seem to stop caring, and start to resent. Their children are an inconvenience. They want a career, or they want to go clubbing, or hang out with friends, or just be somewhere, ANYWHERE, without their children. Some hire nannies, some seek daycare, to get out of having to "deal" with their children.
I watched a movie once where a character said (paraphrasing)
"You need a license for EVERY thing...you cant put a fishing pole into a river without a license...but they'll let any jack ass become a parent."

S O O O O O true. I would imagine that the very large majority of parents do not realize, or care to realize, just how much the little things that they do affect their children. and I mean LITTLE things. The way you treat strangers at the grocery store, the lies you say to door to door salesman, the way you respond to someone cutting you off, the attitude you have when something doesnt go your way, if or how you control your temper, what you say to your significant other, the things you choose to read and watch, I mean EVERYTHING you do will affect your children.
And, I mean these people...so many of these people arent putting any thought into the things that they are doing, much less how huge of an impact it will have on their kids.
I'm sorry if none of this makes sense. I just feel so so strongly about how important it is for children to feel loved. To have a mother and a father, who both WILLINGLY have an active role in their lives. To be taught the things they need to be taught, so that they can grow up to be respectable, emotionally stable adults. Why do so many people take parenting so lightly? They gloat that they got pregnant, but they dont REALLY care. In a few years, they wont care about their child's progression. What teenager who has a celebrity as a parent is "well adjusted"? seriously?? Ahhhh. I just get so frustrated.

I want to be a mom so that my children can feel loved! I want my children to be able to look back on their childhoods, and know for a fact how much I love them! Honestly, I think that is the main reason. I want my children to have the knowledge that I never had: they have parents who love them; irrevocably, unconditionally, eternally.
I want my kids to know in the end that Evan and I had a plan for raising them. That we prepared, in hopes that we would raise them to be the best children of the Lord that they could possibly be during their time here.
Evan and I have had so, so many discussions about hypothetical situations concerning our future kids. If this happened, what would we do? How would we handle it? We have read books about and discussed what our goals as parents are, what kind of things we want to make sure we focus on with our kids, what rules we are going to have, etc.

In conclusion, I AM SO EXCITED TO BE A MOTHER, and it truly disgusts me when people take it so lightly.