Wednesday, March 21, 2012

In need of comfort.

Sometimes, the world depresses me so much.

Yesterday, a boy behind me in line at the grocery store was saying that he had been sent back to get a more decent lunch (apparently, he had come moments and only bought a bottle of soda). So, he was purchasing a hostess pie and a container of chopped watermelon. A few questions: Who is this boys mother? Why does he have no lunch? and why is the cashier chuckling as if this is in any way funny that a 13 year old is living off of Sprite and hostess pies?? If he has $5 to spend on garbage that is disguised and packaged as food, there is an adult somewhere who could have ensured he had a decent lunch.

Modesty among young women, whether members or not, appears to be non-existent. Sometimes just looking at high school aged girls' Facebook pictures is enough to make me lose all hope for the future.

Childhood doesn't seem to be a time period of lives anymore. I watched a lovely film weeks ago that portrayed childhood in such a simple, beautiful way. Everyday was an adventure, imagination was all one needed to have a life full of excitement and wonder. Now, life is full of electronics and sexting and more, more, more toys and clothes and shoes and food. I just wish things could be simpler.

These may seem like things that shouldn't effect me so, but added up, they really do. I feel like the world isn't only headed to an awful state, it IS in an awful state! and it will only be getting worse! I feel so alone sometimes in my views, it's hard to always be positive. I try so hard to be accepting and non-judgmental of other people's views (I am definitely not perfect, but I DO try!) but can't seem to talk about my views without having to defend myself.
Yes, I prefer to not eat animal products. But to me, it isn't all that crazy! Is it so ridiculous to want to eat natural foods?? I'm sorry, but I don't trust the meat industry and the things they pump animals full of, and I don't enjoy meat enough in the first place to spend time and money to find good quality, local meat. I don't trust food labels full of ingredients that I can't even pronounce, and that are invented in laboratories. I ENJOY eating vegetables and whole grains. I FEEL good!
I like holding to the belief that as a woman, my body can give birth without unneeded interventions. Is it really so bad that I want to try? Please don't tell me that I can't!
I believe in taking preventative measures in regards to one's health. No, I don't like going to the doctor, or taking over-the-counter medications. I like using the food I eat to build up my body's functions, and, in the case that I do get sick, to help my body heal.
This all seems so logical to me, yet people seem to look at me like I'm crazy. I don't mind if people disagree with me, but I'm not going to lie and say that it doesn't depress me that lives are so full of artificial foods (not just fast food, practically ALL "food"), artificial relationships (online games), artificial emotions (stimulated by watching "reality" tv). Honestly, my dream life is pretty extreme, and I'm not going to share details because I'm still feeling defensive from talking about having to be defensive (lol) but it suffices to say that: I sometimes feel like all of the things that I hope for my future family are impossible, pointless, and absurd. Which in turn means I will spend my years as a mother feeling like a failure. I know this, because I already feel that way! Like I'm fighting a losing battle, that I'm unrealistic, and that maybe I am the crazy one.

The whole point of this post is not to be a downer, though. The whole point is to explain that this is how I was feeling the other night. I was wondering how I can ever manage to do any good in the lives of those around me. Then I read this:

"My [daughter], be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever."
(Moroni 9:25)

I really, really needed that reminder; that there is always hope in Christ. That He will always be there to help me, even with the things that may be silly to everyone else. If it's important to me, and it's a good thing, He will help me as long as I make the effort. What a reassurance.

(Here are some other gems I found in Moroni. Such a fantastic book of scripture!!)

Chapter 7:
16 For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.

40 And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning hope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?
41 And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.

Chapter 10:
7 And ye may know that he is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore I would exhort you that ye deny not the power of God; for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow, and forever.


  1. i love you, gma. and i totally agree with all of this. except i have yet to give up meat. i just like burgers way too much. :) can't wait to see you soon!

  2. I feel the same way about a LOT of things. I genuinely fear for my children. My OBGYN told me the other day that he wouldn't consider letting me try for a regular delivery with my next response was to leave and decide that when the time comes I am finding a different doctor. I love that you have very solid opinions about what you want, concerning everything from natural delivery to the type of food you eat, and I think that will make you a great mother someday. You're awesome.

  3. Wow, thank you Britt! Thank you so much.

  4. Whenever you need to chat, let's chat about all of this! I love hearing your perspective on all of this even if our views are different. Your views are self-driven, and you don't aim to please anyone but yourself and God...and that's all that matters anyhow. So keep on doing what you do. Because you're doing great.

    Love ya.

  5. I don't know if I've shared this website with you, but I think that you'd relate to and enjoy reading what the author has to say about the modern American diet and how to eat healthier.

    One of the things that I love about you is how you think for yourself. Especially since when you feel passionate about something, you research it out and then make a decision from the heart. It would be totally different if you had these opinions/passions without any real substance behind it.

    Thanks for sharing those scriptures...I needed them as well!